My epitaph will never read, “Here lies a woman who was always on time.”
Please, do not confuse tardiness with irresponsibility; however, punctuality does not happen to be one of my personal virtues. How many years must be lived before resigning ourselves to the truth that certain goals may simply never be attained?
I’ve begged friends to “trick” me into timely arrivals by fudging starting times; I’ve set the clocks on my vehicle’s dashboard and bedside table several minutes ahead; I’ve resolved to leave earlier, jotting down my necessary stops and estimated travel times in great detail; but no luck. Usually, I’m still the last one to appear at meetings, rehearsals, sporting events, lunches and appointments.
The question I cannot seem to answer: Where does the time go?
Generally speaking, time itself possesses elusive, mysterious qualities.
Why is it, for instance, that when a person is in the midst of an enjoyable experience–at a party, wedding or on a date, or simply spending downtime performing a hobby or pastime of one’s choice, or frolicking on the playground during lunchtime recess as an elementary student–time passes ever so quickly?
Conversely, when one is waiting for a long-anticipated event, or is in the middle of a math class (sorry, Mr. Koller) or a confrontational conversation with a colleague, time drags on (and on)?
A time when the clock never seems to move is at the fitness class I frequent.
As much as I admire the instructor and like the healthy, invigorated feeling I have once the class is over, I’m never quite sure how we actually get to the end–because, I SWEAR, there are moments during the session when the clock completely ceases its motion.
“Find a focal point on the opposite wall that doesn’t move, and concentrate,” the instructor orders as we attempt to maintain the tree pose.
Easy enough–all I have to do is stare at the clock and I’m guaranteed stasis. As muscles burn and limbs threaten to crumple, it seems like an eternity passes before we are released for a brief recovery. Is it an equipment malfunction? Or merely a wrinkle in time?
But on Sunday mornings, when we would love even a few extra minutes of relaxation to savor a second cup of strong coffee while reading the paper before hustling the family to church, it seems we’ve been plunged into a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon in which the clock’s hands spin at warp speed to illustrate fast-forward time.
What? It’s 8:12 a.m. already? What happened to 7:23 a.m.? Or 8:02 a.m.? And before I can properly register 8:12 a.m., it’s already 8:51 a.m.–and I’m doomed for another late arrival, done in before the day is properly underway.
These days, there are unquestionably more time wasters at everyone’s beck and call than ever before.
Netflix? iPads? Smartphones? Downton Abbey? Minecraft? XBox? Twitter? Facebook? Snapchat? Instagram? ESPN?
Pick your poison; whatever your time-sucker of choice, it’s primed and at the ready to help the innocent (and the guilty) while away their lives and distract their attention from pithier thoughts, weightier duties, personal interactions.
Although most of us no longer need to devote hours daily to time-consuming, labor-intensive tasks like churning butter, baking bread or twisting hay to warm our houses, we’ve traded those jobs for the “modern conveniences” of commuting in space-age vehicles (only to slow to a crawl in big-city traffic jams), creating Shutterfly books, browsing in village-sized malls or perusing the Internet for hours on end to “save time” buying gifts or necessities online.
There are no solutions to be suggested here, merely reassurance that humans have always wrestled with determining the best ways to spend our minutes and fill our lives.